Elliot Phippen

Sept. 6, 2020, 1:16 p.m.

Perfect, we need a rogue

Jace was fun. Elliot couldn’t decide whether he would be a more fun accomplice or a more fun adversary. It was obvious that Jace would not just be a victim, because if Elliot pranked him there was a thousand percent guarantee of retaliation, probably from the Fitz twin duo. Not that that was a bad thing (maybe Elliot could team up with Sadie?), but maybe Elliot could team up with Jace instead. People would never see it coming. And if Jace was low-key offering…

“A dungbomb detector would be great,” Elliot said. “Ari is pretty one-note about ‘gotcha!’ pranks and craft supplies. Like she thinks jumping out from behind something and slapping you in the face is a prank. And just about everything I own was hiding a glitter bomb at one point this summer.” The worst was his luggage for school, which had exploded so violently when he went to pack yesterday that it looked like someone had graphically murdered a frolic of fairies in his bedroom. One of the main problems with their house was that his and Ari’s bedrooms only locked from the inside, so Elliot couldn’t do a whole lot to keep her out when he wasn’t in his room—which he didn’t like to sit in because there were no people there. And even when Elliot was in his room, you could pick the lock from the outside pretty easily. Maybe now that he was a fourth year, Professor Embers would teach them wards and he could set up his door to trap Ari like a sticky spiderweb when she tried to break in.

“And once when I was playing with my Switch she busted through the door and started spraying everything with a nerf gun full of brown paint.” Ari had been all “ha, it looks like someone pooped on you!” like that was really clever. Elliot knew his sister was nine, but seriously? Grow up. “So I ordered some hair growth potion and set that bucket-over-the-door thing, and the next time she busted in trying to throw a rotten zucchini at my head, the potion dumped on her. She looked like a sasquatch.”

This year, Elliot was definitely going to see if he could build up a stockpile of pranking potions while he was at school. It’d save him retaliation money over the breaks, and he was pretty sure that Rob would literally give him house points for it. “And she tried to hide my clothes and passport before the trip,” Elliot gave Jace the backstory, “so I hid a bunch of old-school alarm clocks in her room set to go off at different times in the middle of the night, and I switched the off button with the volume button so they just got louder when she finally found them and tried to turn them off.” He was proudest of the one in ceiling light fixture. It had taken some time but been so worth it. “What kind of stuff do you do to your brother?”

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