Elliot Phippen

Dec. 20, 2020, 9:52 a.m.

You won’t catch me monologuing

A lot of the time, Cultural Studies was a Very Special Episode type of class. Elliot was genre-savvy and he could already tell that the Aesop for today was “all toys are good!” The moral of the story in Cultural Studies was almost always “all cultures are good,” but occasionally it was “this specific cultural practice is harmful to marginalized members of that culture and we should all strive to promote change and elevate the voices of people who are personally affected by this.”

Anyway given all of the everything about him (he had referenced video games in several essays at this point), he wasn’t surprised when Professor Blair-West assigned him to argue for “magic is better.” She liked to do that kind of thing, putting people out of their comfort zone. Not that Elliot really had a comfort zone. It was more of a comfort region. An entire comfort land mass, if you will. And he had a passport to go anywhere—okay the metaphor was getting away from him a bit but the point was that he didn’t mind doing things that he didn’t normally do.

Also Elliot was sure wizarding toys were dope as hell because they could use magic, but also… what even were wizarding toys? Most of Elliot’s family were Muggles or Muggle-raised, and obv his dad worked in the gaming industry, so about ninety-nine percent of his toys growing up were Muggle. The only things he could really think of were stuff like the toy broom he’d had as a little kid (it included a seatbelt charm and could only go a few feet off the ground). Wizard chess was a thing, and it was definitely cooler than regular chess because the pieces moved and argued and fought, but at the end of the day it was still the same rules as chess and you could accomplish the same thing with a video game. There were gobstones, but they were basically just stinky marbles, which was not even that fun of a game to begin with. Exploding Snap was genuinely cool because of the explosion factor but it was still basically Go Fish.

Hang on. Were there any wizarding toys that weren’t just charmed versions of normal Muggle toys? “Okay I totally need to do more research to argue for the pro-magic side,” Elliot told his partner. He picked up the item from their table that looked the furthest from a recognizable Muggle toy. “What is this?”

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Ready, set, fight! ...I mean, debate! [Cultural Studies, All Years] - Estelle Blair || December 19
You won’t catch me monologuing - Elliot Phippen || December 20
Let's leave that to the experts - Norah Nilssen || December 22