April 24, 2021, 9:12 p.m.

"Bags" all folks

Nando tentatively stepped forward. He would have gulped, but gulping might have given away his position to his magical yoyo son, so he decided against it. He tried to talk it down first. “Hey buddy, hey look. It’s me.” The yoyo immediately arched its nonexistent head and immediately bolted towards Nando. He screamed.

“You just gave up the only advantage we had,” Jo screamed from behind him. The yoyo kept advancing. “You absolute and utter buffoon.”

“HE’S MY SON!” Nando screamed as he ran back towards Jo. “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? JUST KILL HIM?”

Jo turned tail and bolted. “YES,” she screamed. “EXACTLY THAT! DO SOMETHING, LUMOS BOY!”

Oh, right. The magic. The magic for the yoyo, the magic chosen especially to subdue the yoyo, the yoyo’s magic. That magic?

Colloshoo!” Nando screamed. The yoyo slowed down for a second before gaining up on them again. Yoyos didn’t have feet. The spell didn’t work. Idiot.


Locomotor Yoyo!” That caused the yoyo to shoot up in the air, immediately crashing into a shelf of small figurines being held up by what seemed to be two statues of old dudes. Whoops.

“My ancient relative statue shelf!” Jo yelled indignantly.

“I could try Finite, but that would kill him!” Nando exclaimed. “What if we can train him somehow?”

For just a sliver of a moment, Jo considered tripping Nando and leaving him to his no doubt grisly fate.

“Wait let me try something.” He hadn’t tried this spell out yet because he thought that he would get in trouble if he did it to another student. But seeing as how this was an inanimate animated object—“Petrificus Totalus!” The yoyo stopped in its tracks, almost solidifying for a second. Nando stopped running.

Jo didn’t hesitate. She spun on her heel and lept at the yoyo, bag raised high over her head. With a neat snap of the wrist, she had the yoyo in bag. She tightened it and secured it with a loose piece of rope hanging on a shelf. Job done, she handed the package to Nando.

“Done!” she said, panting lightly. “No thanks to you!”

“Hey! I stopped it didn’t I? What help were you? What would you have done? Wingardium Leviosa’d it to death—actually that’s not that bad of an idea.” He stopped and looked at Jo. Then he started to laugh, a childish unembellished laugh.

Jo stopped untying the bag and looked at him incredulously.

“What?” she snapped. “What’s so funny?”

“This! Us! Carajo, we’re like some monster hunters now. And all it cost was, what?” He looked at the mini statuettes that had been destroyed. “Some miniature dolls of...”

“...of my relatives!”

He started to laugh again. “Yes, of your relatives! And we were awesome!”

Jo thought it over for a moment. While it hadn’t exactly been a graceful crusade, she couldn’t deny that they had accomplished their mission. They’d caught the monster, so to speak, and...Jo looked down at her hands, shaking slightly from exertion. Running away from that yoyo, however childish it had been...had made her feel alive.

“Nando?” she asked.

“Si?” He responded.

“I think…” she said tentatively. “I think we were awesome.”

And Jo laughed along with him.

It didn’t take long before the two of them reached the opening of the mokeskin bag. Staring up, Nando wondered how the hell they were going to get out of the bag. Why didn’t kids ever think about stuff like this?

“Uh, do we live here now?”

Jo rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t completely wipe the smile off her face. “Not unless you want to pay me rent,” she said.

Somewhere in the abyss of the mokeskin bag, there was a loud, ominous crash. Nando now began to realize that he could have sworn he saw the destroyed statues move just before their untimely demise.

“Oh, we’re in danger!” Jo said brightly. “We should probably leave.”

“Oh of course, let me just climb out of- HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO THAT BRUH??”

Jo shot him a toothy grin. The bag was lined all the way to the top with shelves. If it meant life or death, she didn’t mind sacrificing some of their contents in a mad scramble to freedom. Jo approached the first shelf and grabbed the shelf the furthest above she could reach.

“Yeah, I think we’re climbing,” she said, and stepped up. “Race you!”

Nando thought of all the world-record speedruns he had watched of literally every platforming game he was mildly interested in and suddenly became extremely motivated. “You’re on!”

And so they did.

(Jo won.)

New Post Reply as NPC Back to Board

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