Woahhhhhhh. Hold up.
Eugene had thrown Elliot a total curveball. First he said he was making a card for Norah, and that was totally cool cool cool cool cool and didn’t at all bum Elliot out or make Elliot want his own glitter card. And THEN. And then Eugene said it was a break up card.
Elliot had two very righteous ideas at the same time. The first was that break up cards were not a thing and that Eugene had stressed him out for nothing. And then the second idea was that Elliot mega did not care about Eugene yanking his chain because the point was that Eugene and Norah had broken up so Elliot could get celebrating. Except not because when a friend got dumped by (dumped?) a girl, you had to be a righteous brah to the max and support him and maybe take him to egg and TP her house if that was what would make him feel all good.
And Eugene wanted color help. Okay. Elliot could give color help. What was the opposite of neon? (Because neon colors were the most xTreme colors, obv.) He would say brown, but Eugene had brown eyes and they were huge and pretty. Elliot wasn’t a writer type so he didn’t know how to make a comparison that didn’t sound gnarly. There weren’t a whole lot of things that were big and brown and also pretty. Like a… drainage lake? A muddy puddle? Melted chocolate? Not very pretty. But Eugene’s eyes were brown and pretty, no similes about it.
“How about, like, puke green?” Elliot suggested. That was pretty sad. “Or like… rust orange? Like a dried scab kind of color? Something bogus like that. That’d be pretty sad.” Basically, if the color couldn’t be found in a bowling alley that did cosmic bowling Fridays at 10, it was appropriate for a breakup card. Anything that didn’t fluoresce under a blacklight was sad. “So uh. You and Norah. That’s gnarly, man. I didn’t know you broke up. Some kinda trouble in paradise?”