April 24, 2021, 10:02 p.m.

Guess the wedding is mine then

Professor Blair had assigned Elliot to work with the hottest girl in class. Real wing-woman work.

So Elliot was on one knee proposing to the hottest girl in class and she was absolutely mocking him. But in a fun, in-on-the-joke way, hopefully? In the Harper-Phippen household (and in all of Elliot’s friendships, especially with Sadie) mockery was a form of affection. If you liked someone, you ribbed them a bit. Not about things they were sensitive about, just stuff that was funny. Like the time Dad screamed like a banshee when they were playing Resident Evil 7. Or the time Ari got herself stuck in her Rarity costume because she insisted on wearing it even though she’d grown out of it and then got the zipper stuck and wouldn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want their parents to cut it off so she’d just worn it for three days and then had a meltdown, so now whenever anyone in the house said they were still awake they would all yell “I’m not tired, darling!” in TransAtlantic-accented toddler-speak. The fact that Ari hated it made it more fun.

Anyway this was definitely banter that Dakota was doing. Right?

“Well, if we’re monogamous, then how dare you,” Elliot said, very seriously. Then gave Dakota his lopsided grin. “But if not, then we’re cool.” He was good at banter. All maxed out on charisma. Plus he meant it—in the fake world of their fake baby he’d be totally down with non-monogamy. Also in the real world. Elliot wasn’t exactly sure what he and Eugene were (other than friends who had had their tongues in each others’ mouths and who had thought that was totally radical and daydreamed about doing it again) but Elliot had never dated anyone. He thought he would be a good boyfriend to someone (or more than one someone?) someday but it wasn’t today.

Didn’t stop him from agreeing to love and honor Dakota for the sake of their plastic baby for the rest of the semester. “Either way I’ll raise them as my own,” he added. He got up because the floor was not comfortable on his bony knees (no padding) and sat back in his chair. “So what do you say? Make me the happiest man on Earth?”

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The Birds, The Bees, and The Babies (Years 4-7) - Estelle Blair || April 24
Time for a shotgun wedding - Elliot Phippen || April 24
I call the shotgun - Dakota Farnon || April 24
Guess the wedding is mine then - Elliot || April 24
I take it back, that sounds worse - Dakota Farnon || May 23