Elliot Phippen

Sept. 19, 2020, 12:20 p.m.

I don’t need any help

Oh, great. Here was Kit to ruin Elliot’s day and get them both poisoned. Kit has such big Younger Sister energy that it was exhausting. She was like Ari, or Violet Rosse. Elliot had no idea where younger sisters got all the stamina to be so extra all the time, but he was pretty sure Kit was powered by bad ideas and misplaced holier-than-thou rage, both of which she had in abundance. He wanted to say he didn’t actually need a partner now that he had realized that this was Kit, but Elliot was one thousand percent sure that that would unlock the ending where Kit yelled at him and told Professor McCloud that he was being an inappropriate bully. Elliot didn’t actually care about getting in trouble, but the staff at RMI seemed to just let Kit do whatever the hell she wanted and Elliot did not intend to test whether anyone had told Professor McCloud that rule yet.

And here was the thing that Elliot knew to be true, after a summer tentatively rounding corners in case Ariana was on the other side with a SuperSoaker full of soy sauce: he wouldn’t just be stuck in this partnership with Kit. Kit would be stuck in this partnership with him.

Not that he wanted her to get garrotted by the Devil’s Snare but, you know, accidents happened. Kit seemed very accident-prone. These things went well together. “Sure,” he said. “We should go stake out a corner of the greenhouse to make all shadowy. Ferninand,” the name he had instantly given the Devil’s Snare, “will like that.”

Especially if they picked a corner that had like, a hole in the wall where mice could get in, so Ferninand could have some treats. Did RMI even have mice or just, like, chizpurfles? So many staff and students had cats (the library even had two, like I-only-tell-truths/I-only-tell-lies sphinxes guarding the magical knowledge) that even if mice got into the school, they probably didn’t last long. But maybe some of them made their way to the outdoor classroom. Who’s to say? “We shouldn’t get too close to him. Let’s move the pot with Mobiliarbus.”

Now, Elliot was willing to have a truce with Kit, but Kit was so not on the same page. Fine. Two could play at that game. “So Mimbulus Mimbletonia,” he said with a wicked grin, remembering Kit’s icebreaker answer. If Professor McCloud continued with these, Elliot was going to have to learn a lot more plants and animals and spend time ranking them so he wasn’t put on the spot every class. “That’s the one that makes gobstone juice, right? Do you like it ‘cause the smell reminds you of you?”

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Don’t you know that you’re toxic [Magizoobotany Years 4-7] - Iolanthe McCloud || September 05
Picking my poison! - Elliot Phippen || September 05
Here, let me do that for you - Katherine Kendrick || September 07
I don’t need any help - Elliot Phippen || September 19
I can help you need help - Kit || September 26
You’re the one who needs help - Elliot Phippen || September 27
I know you are but what am I - Kit || September 27
Devil’s Snare food? - Elliot || September 27
...yeah I'll give you that - Kit || October 17
Better that than fertilizer - Elliot Phippen || October 18
Is there a functional difference? - Kit || October 18
Just don’t feed the plants - Elliot || November 08