Elliot

Nov. 8, 2020, 9:44 a.m.

Just don’t feed the plants

In the latest entry for “wildest thing that could possibly happen today” (competing with “Devil’s Snare attack” and “poison garden” and “friendly giant tree butler”), Kit Kendrick was hugging him.

Elliot was like, 99% sure this was going to turn out to be some kind of trap—like Kit was gonna be all like “surprise, muthafucka!” and turn it into a choke hold. (Except she wouldn’t say that because the whole reason she hated him was that kind of language… although it would be hilarious if she did.) Or she’d do something else crazy. She was one of those bosses that didn’t have a set pattern, like the Rockbreaker in Horizon Zero Dawn, which could just erupt out of the ground right underneath you without warning and toss you halfway across the map. Either that or her AI was like, super bugged.

But until he activated her trap card again, Elliot was a fourteen-year-old boy and a sixteen-year-old girl was hugging him so, you know, nice. He patted her on the back, because that was the kind of thing you did when someone was crying and hugging you. Elliot was great at hugs. Although he kind of wished he had robes on so that Kit didn’t use his v-neck as a tissue.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all right. Saved your life,” Elliot commented, although he was pretty sure Professor McCloud wouldn’t have let Ferninand strangle Kit to death for real. Hopefully Kit would stop crying soon because this was getting a little embarrassing. “Let’s, uh, get back to it?”