Elliot Phippen

Jan. 31, 2021, 12:38 p.m.

A spark of genius?

There were few greater joys than hearing adults use slang they didn’t know how to use. Elliot’s dad was notorious for this, because he would hear new slang on Xbox Live or something and then try to repeat it later even though he didn’t know exactly what it meant. It was like the hilariously lame equivalent of when you couldn’t hear what someone else had said and you’d already asked them to repeat themself twice so instead you just laughed and said “Uh huh!” But way, way funnier.

Hearing Professor McKindy say “Yeet” watered Elliot’s crops and replenished his mana, and the fact that the professor’s yeet caused an object to yeet was so cool that Elliot instinctively almost declared a linguistics major. There was obviously a lot of cool language stuff going on, but Elliot didn’t speak languages other than English. What he did have was a very particular set of skills, namely knowing a lot of spells from games and stuff, and he was willing to bet that he could get some of those to work. The only difference between locomotor and Mage Hand was Latin, right?

He really wanted to work with Joey, because the guy did not speak English, but it looked like he already had a partner. There were a bunch of international students who were probably easier to understand than Joey, but before Elliot could approach any of them (because hell yes he wanted to learn the Spanish word for yeet) a teeny little firstie came up to him and asked for help.

See, this was the great thing about being an upperclassman: you got asked to mentor littler witches and wizards. The student had become the master. Elliot was still very much a student but the concept of having his own padawan was still very cool. He was like Obi-Wan, but like, young hot too-good-for-those-shitty-movies Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan. And Professor McKindy was Qui-Gon. And Summer was Anakin but hopefully, like, not on a path to slaughter children. And eventually she would have an Ahsoka. Ah, the circle of life.

“Oh, yeah, no problem,” Elliot said, drawing his wand. “There are a couple ways to make sparks but the one you saw was probably,” he pointed his wand up in the air, “Vermillious!” A stream of red sparks jetted from Elliot’s wand toward the ceiling like tiny non-explosive fireworks. He surveyed his padawan. “Are you bilingual?” he asked. He expected a no based on how white and American she was, but you never knew. “I just know English and 13375p34k so I don’t really know where to start with this.”

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Yeetus Fleetus [Spellwork, all years] - Aaron McKindy || January 09
Someone help me light a spark! - Summer Brooks || January 10
A spark of genius? - Elliot Phippen || January 31