He was getting real tired of seeing all the fake babies around on campus. If they weren't smelling bad, they were crying. And if they weren't crying, they were coming up with new ways of annoying Nando. He quickly made his way to that day's Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson with his eyes pointed downward and his mp3 player (he'd rather die than use an Apple product) playing on blast. If he didn't see them, then they didn't exist. If he couldn't hear them, then even better. He was listening to his "Beatz" playlist on loop and the mixture of video game music, audio memes, and extremely cursed rap comforted him as he tried to focus on anything but the glorified flour sack projects around him. Of course, a muggle version of the project existed but typically they were made in charge of like a bag of beans or something. Not *ACTUAL* fake babies. He didn't know why it freaked him out as much as it did, but right now he was listening to music and not thinking about it. Yup.
His personal happenings had been going fairly well, he thought as he stepped into the classroom. He had been exploring the secret passageways with now (potential sidekick) Jo. Even though she could be particularly scary sometimes, she was typically very excited to do whatever crazy thing Nando could plan. They had been mapping out where all the passages lead to, as well as "supposedly" chasing what Jo swore were "skittering noises too large to be a rat". Nando explained to her that there were ghosts that liked to play pranks on younger students, but she wouldn't have it. Another thing of his that was going well was his study buddy time with Paola. Nando wasn't one for studying (he'd rather just take whatever fate Wizard God had planned for him), but Paola had insisted on having "quiet time", which was a bizarre concept to him. Nonetheless, he would sit down next to her and try to read up on cool spells he thought he might be able to use in the future.
This is why he was so excited when Professor Brooks had mentioned boggarts. He had semi-recently read up on the spell Riddikulus and had tried it on mundane objects and friends to no avail. What he needed was a boggart and that is exactly what Wizard God had given him that day. You've done good, chief. You've done good. He was surprised to see that this mixed-mode class included upperclassman, and he had to admit he felt particularly small around them. It's not that he was shy or anything, but he tended to stay away from the older kids. Get too close to one of them, and you get poisoned apparently. He was happy meme'ing it up with his fellow classmates and hanging with select upperclassmen that he had vetted to be cool. He tried not to think too much about Elliot or Dea lest his face get too red.
He was trying so hard not to think about them that he didn't even realize that Drew Tennant had walked up to him and chose him as his partner. Nando knew who Drew was, I mean, everyone with any working brain cells knew who he was. The Lyra was still particularly angry that he shared his house with his assailant who had been given the equivalent of a slap on the wrist. And sure, he didn't know all of the deetz (alligations of whether or not a basilisk was used had still gone unanswered), but his parents had taught him the basics of sympathy, so he instinctively took Drew's side no matter how many purebloods swore Darlene's innocence.
"Sup homie," Nando managed to spew out after he realized he had been staring at the older boy.
“I’ll go first,” he offered. Nando obliged and stepped out of the way, looking forward to seeing the spell in action. And then something really bad happened. "Shit," Nando swore, as he saw Darlene walk out of the cabinet. For a second he thought that this was someone's idea of a sick joke, but when he realized that Drew was at a loss for words he realized that was what the boggart had turned into.
“All right, assist.”
Nando turned to face Drew and suddenly felt his face go hot. Everyone was looking at them, but not in the way that Nando typically enjoyed. Sure he liked being the center of attention, but on his terms. "Uhh," he said, not sure how to approach this. Then Drew reminded him.
“How do I make this funny?”
Oh! Humor! That's right! Nando tried to think of every meme that he had ever seen before. "Okay imagine cult classic 2001 film 'Shrek' starring Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy. Literally, choose any character and just go with it. Turn her into Shrek dude." He started to chant. "Shrek. Shrek. Shrek. Shrek."